Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Time for yourself

What does that mean when you have a busy family?? I can barely get a mouthful of food without someone swarming me. I have been tasked with an assignment to carve out more time for myself. I think the key for me is to be intentional. Make the time, take the time, savour the time. It's not that I don't get away. Michael is really good at letting me bolt if I have to, but it's not necessarily a recharging time because I don't do anything that will recharge me...ya know??

I think I need to start drawing again. Or writing. Or singing. Some of the most relaxing, recharging times have been singing with Miriam and Mike. Just playing around with harmonies and learning to hear things with a different ear and take some chances. I miss having music in my life. One of my biggest fears about my thyroid surgery was the potential risk of permanent damage to the vocal chords. Thankfully, that didn't happen, but a little over a year later, things are still repairing. I don't have the range that I had and it wasn't like I was a freaking chanteuse or anything, but I knew what I could do and could do it confidently...now I try and when I get there, the bottom falls out and that's weird.

I would love to have a little paint set that I could carry around with me - I could go sit in the ravine for a while and just see what I could see.

And writing. This is an outlet, but I think that this "me time" can't involve this outlet. It can be freeing and restricting all at the same time. I used to write poetry. Or at least I did for a blip in time. Not great, but kinda fun to do - way better than sudoku 8^)

So, the digging continues. Hah! Hopefully I'll have this all figured out before I die!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

I've started my detox

Woohoo 8^) Well, at least the organ support portion of the program. Three weeks of getting the organs ready to excrete, then a 12 week cleansing that will be broken up into two 6 week protocols.

I'm feeling so much better in my head because of Dr. K, that I, honestly, can't wait to do this.

I see Heather tomorrow. She's an intern at the clinic and she deals with counselling and life skills. I hope to learn some new skills so that I don't feel so overwhelmed just doing the basics that this job of mine entails. I often feel like a 4 year old trying to raise a family. A fairly large family at that! I'm just not equipped...but that sure as hell doesn't help the people who rely on me everyday, now does it??

Friday, June 01, 2007

My bloodwork this month

is actually starting to reflect all the hard work I've been doing!! For the first time in - ahh - ever - my bloodwork and my symptoms are matching up. My thyroid meds are finally mimicking their long lost compadre and I am feeling decent. My B12 levels are up and in a really good place. My Vit D is still dodgy, but we're working on it and now that I know it's fat soluable and I'll take it properly (why do they do that??)
My free T3 and free T4 levels are almost perfect. This is honestly, the best doctors appointment I've had in a long time.

My adrenals are starting to get better too, so we're dropping my liothyranine med down a smidge to reflect my functioning adrenals. Liothyranine is a T3 only med, my body wasn't converting T4 into T3 because of the low adrenal function...so this is exciting news - apparently my body is starting to convert again!!

Word to the wise: DO NOT EVER LET THEM YANK ANYTHING OUT OF YOUR BODY THAT IS THERE FOR A REASON WITHOUT A SERIOUSLY GOOD EXPLANATION AND AT LEAST A SECOND OPINION. Life with a underactive/unmedicated thyroid disease was hard. Life without a thyroid gland at all...is harder. And, I am soooooo grateful that I have found a doctor who believes me and not just the numbers and thinks outside the box. If it wasn't for her and her support - I honestly think I would've committed myself already or committed something fairly heinous. My mental health was dancing really close to the edge and that is totally related to thyroid disease. It isn't always JUST depression. When every 2nd person you meet is on an antidepressant...it's time to question the system. Quick fix? Easy answer? Dunno. But, I sure am glad I took this fork in the road.